Lumberjacks Don't Do Laundry

by Rebecca Blake Title

Wilson was into laundry. The whiter
More brilliant it got the lustier he felt.
His fantasy involved piles of just-out-of-the-dryer
Clothes. His girlfriend, Lucy, on the other hand,
Had a thing for lumberjacks. Lumberjacks,
She told Wilson, do not fold clothes.

While Wilson dreamed of towers of
Dirty laundry begging for his cleaning abilities,
Lucy anticipated flannel, and sweat,
Trees and axes. Oh, those axes.

Once Wilson tried a desperate compromise.
He invited Lucy over for an intimate evening.
He performed his favorite act: knowing just when
To add the fabric softener. But,
A special treat: Everything in the wash was
Flannel which he had personally sweated in
While he was folding up his darks earlier that morning.

Lucy was not won over. She would not fold clothes.
She would not smell the fresh-
just-like-it-was-dried-on-a-line smell.
She would not, to his huge dismay, even let
The soft warm, just-out-of-the-dryer clothes
Touch her even softer cheek.
Oh how Wilson wanted to make it even softer,
But she would not let him near her with
The fabric softener.