Sick Sad World #1 - January/February 2003

January: Another Year, Another Defiance of Impending Extinction

by Rev. Felix Roy Mariposa, Misanthrope at Large

Welcome to Sick Sad World, although it's a bit weird welcoming you all to a place we're already at. Like when I flight attendant that's on the same plane as you welcomes you to a place we both just arrived. I think George Carlin did a bit about that.

This isn't a George Carlin bit, but it sounds like one.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2002/11/21/state1258EST0055.DTL

Our goal here at Sick Sad World (or "SSW" as those in the know call it, ignoring the fact that "Ess-Ess-Double-Yoo" is more syllables) is to bring you all the news you might have missed to remind you that, as a species, we're doomed. At Sick Sad World, entropy is our business.

I mean, if we're not Evolution's Bee-yatch, how can you explain this?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2002/09/30/national2325EDT0826.DTL

Of course, some of us are doomed more than others. Take the South. Please. No, really, that's not a cliche punchline, I want someone to take them away from me as far as possible. I have a rebuttal to Trent Lott's comments on what would have kept us from "having all these troubles over the years" - if we just let the yokels secede like they always wanted to. Go ahead, The South, try again to secede. I dare you. We won't stop you this time. [Editor's Note: Rev. Mariposa doesn't much like the North or East very much, either. The West Coast? Well, he's still deciding on that...]

Hey, Virginia's in the south, isn't it?
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2001/12/07/national0457EST0483.DTL&nl=fix
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/n/a/2001/12/09/national2253EST0579.DTL&nl=fix

But human stupidity knows no mere geographical limitation. Really, anywhere there's people, there's idiots. For example, we came up with the idea of a military, capable of exporting stupidity. Here's a really bad idea: take the people in your society who are essentially unemployable, call them an "army", and give them GUNS. What, giving them mops wasn't empowering enough?

Of course, Darwinism usually manages to strike back.
http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=50W20JFQRFO3ACRBAE0CFFA?type=scienceNews&storyID=1916355

Here's a final lesson - pain is nature's way of telling you something is wrong. Laughter is nature's way of telling you someone ELSE is in pain. Or, to quote Mel Brooks, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down a manhole and die."

(At least this last guy had a moment of self-realization.)
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2002/10/02/MNbiker.DTL

Malaysia announced Monday it has banned a car advertisement featuring actor Brad Pitt, saying that the producers have degraded Asians by picking the Hollywood heart-throb over local personalities.

Deputy Minister of Information, Zainuddin Maidin, said that the advertisement, which features Pitt driving one of car-maker Toyota's latest car model, was discontinued after it donned local newspapers and enjoyed air-time on local television several months back.

"We banned that ad because it was considered an insult to Asian people," Maidin said.