Twelve Cynical Thoughts

by Arthur Perez and Felix Roy Mariposa

1. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one because God has a twisted sense of humor.

2. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out that the other person still won't press charges.

3. When the door of happiness closes, sometimes another door opens but often it's the trapdoor under your feet.

4. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, and never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Meaning your best friend is your dog.

5. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. And depending on what magazines you subscribe to, that could be anything. The only thing that is certain is that your mailman is probably laughing at you.

6. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person who you would like to hear from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their heart. Lower your expectations and settle for the first things that comes along.

7. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, in the end it fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because we all need somebody to laugh at. If they're rich and hot that doesn't hurt either, because, hey, life is short.

8. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. (Hindus, please skip to #9.)

9. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless, an axe handle makes sure nobody messes with you.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. That thing is money.

11. Happiness is here for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. The rest of us have TV.

12. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. This is why God gave us alcohol... unfortunately, that means frat boys have the brightest future of all of us.