Gad About Town #2 - A Night with Nerve

a new journalism narrative posing as a review, by Mark Hugo

Or was it Sunday? I'm pretty sure it was Monday since everyone was anticipating the impending New York City MTA subway strike that started on Tuesday. Seems like a world away and it was only a few months. And yes, I'm terrible at deadlines, especially the self-imposed kind. It was surreal to see the writers that amuse and/or inform me each and every day. The reading filled the hours that would have otherwise been spent twiddling my thumbs angrily in the midst of my unemployment. I can't say I met any writers since I sat quietly in the back of Galapagos. It's probably for the best since if I did talk to the Reverend Jen Miller it would be painfully obvious that I have a web crush on her. I feel out of place in Williamsburg. I must be out of the fashion loop that involves undersized sweaters being worn by Clark Kent look-alikes. I found out about the reading by way of Gwynne Watkins' informative and amusing Scanner update. Thanks to Scanner I've had the fortune of seeing Rachel McAdam's hairy nipple. Thanks. And if it weren't for Gwynne's encouragement of Tyler and I, the Nerve patrons would never have been subjected to Ipods and Sausages, second place winner of the Rant in your Undies Contest.

My favorite part of the night was that everyone looked his or her part. I admit that I recognized the Reverend Jen Miller from her photo that accompanies her "I Did it For Science" column. Although she is more elfin in person. Since I didn't walk over to her, I'll never know why that is. As far as I'm concerned her contribution science through her sexual experiments cannot be measured. "Rear Window" documented her first taste of anal sex and analingus. I was intrigued by her description of her experiment partner's anus as tasting "clean" and "salty." Not merely an account of her sexual exploration the articles scientific merit was seen through her documentation, notation of variables, and thorough conclusions. Jen brought her article's hilarity and hotness with the glee with which she read it. If you happened to be at Galapagos that night I was sitting at the juveniles anonymous table in the back marveling that my companions had turned into a bunch of tittering high school girls because of the subject material. I'd blame booze, but that's really not fair to booze. Andy Horowitz amused all with his uncomfortably delivered tale of the chaotic world of deceit and love that included sleeping with the intern, caring for imaginary babes and being shystered for sperm in exchange for awkward sex. He seemed so ashamed, I felt ashamed, not even knowing the source of my shame. In conclusion, there was a lot of shame. Also, I appreciated that he watched too much TV while depressed. It's good to know I'm not alone. I was a bit distracted when Neal Medlyn announced what he was going to read. Not sure what it was supposed to be about, but before I noticed the switch I was watching a very geeky and enthusiastic performance tribute to Art Kelly. It was like watching a proto-Baptist speaking in tongues. It was entertainment, lined with fear. In short, awesome. Logan Hill, read from "Leisure Suit Larry Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Sex." Again, I was distracted by my tablemates. They were debating the merits of anal sex and attempting to convert the one female at the table to their viewpoint. Mostly, I kept thinking about how I had never played Leisure Suit Larry and if I should check out the new version. Rachel Hulin read her article, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Vagina". She struck me as the girl you had a class with in college that you knew would go farther than you out in the world. And now she has. She was both creative and informative. I learned new things about the labia; mainly that it can be sculpted into various shapes I never thought possible. I applaud her newfound love of her genitalia and hope she is an inspiration for all Nerve readers.

That was the night as I saw it. Definitely, a good time. It started a bit late because some kind of professional shoot that was being shot at Galapagos overlapped into their time. I look forward to the next even. Hopefully the crowd will be thicker. Not having an MTA strike looming over everyone's head should help. I encourage you to go to Nerve.com and read the writers' works.

-Posted to The Great Hoboes of New York on May 1, 2006