Great Hoboes of New York

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Feast

a new journalism narrative posing as a film review, by Mark Hugo

Saturday October 22nd. The plan was to go see a screening of a 35 mm print of Bride of Frankenstein. Like many great plans it was thwarted by the combination of 1) everybody dicking around and 2) traffic. Of course, I was in LA and my trip would not have been complete without a change of plans due to traffic. Had to get out of New York. For some strange reason my sinuses clear up when I go to LA and block up immediately on arriving home to Astoria. Go figure. So we, The Beautiful CockTease, The Medical Experiment (good kid, just a bit touched) and I, decided to go see a screening of Feast at the Universal Lot. The Medical Experiment and I spent much of the evening cracking each other up with a play on John Gulager's name. I mean is there a better name for an aspiring horror director than GHOUL-ager? Although the show was free we needed to be on a list, which we were not. Unfortunately for me, The Simp was on the list. So we had to call The Simp, who I despised and pitied and for some reason The Beautiful Cocktease just pitied. To his credit he fast-talked us extra tickets. We told some guy who looked like Kato Kalin that he could just talk his way in too, but we didn't see him again. Must not have been Kato. In the end, I'm glad we saw Feast. It's a fun, gory, over-the-top horror that was grotesque enough to make me squirm just a bit (hideous monster sex) and amusing enough to keep my attention. As I expected the cinematography was great and included some inventive shots. For the most part the pacing is good and it only dragged a bit in the beginning of the third act. The script is campy; take that as good or bad. Personally, I love camp. Characters were introduced with a stat card that told you who they were and something snarky about them. It was a clever way to move quickly through character development and get to the action and gore. It also played up the high body count since there were a few hero changes along the way. It was a nice surprise to see Henry Rollins in the movie. I didn't expect him to be since he didn't participate in the TV show. According to John Gulager, Rollins kept to himself and spent most of his time with his head buried in his laptop. As for his role, he plays a yellow-bellied motivational speaker. I imagine Rollins would hate his character and it adds to the hilarity. Jason Mewes was another surprise addition for me, playing a bumbling pool shark. That's what I love about not hunting the internet for teasers, everything is a surprise.

I watched the Project Greenlight show a few times and wasn't sure how the movie was going to turn out. You never know how much of the drama is for the cameras. Turns out I liked the director much more in person than on the show. He seemed like a nice guy and had a quirky, shy way of talking to the audience. He spoke as if everyone in the audience had a technical film background, admitting to his embarrassment that he went a bit too far with the grain on the Super 8 flashback scene. I guess the combination of shooting at dusk, blowing up Super 8 to 35mm, and pushing a few stops was overkill. That's the problem with money: no money, no reshoot. But if the movie gets enough interest, he should be able to make all the corrections he'd like. From talking with other viewers of the show I've gathered that most people felt bad for him and viewed the show as a David and Goliath story. Judging from the grunts coming from the crowd they sided with him in his dispute with the casting director, Michelle Gertz. I will acknowledge the importance of directorial vision but Michelle was doing her job as best she could, while John Gulager was trying to get half his family cast. It seemed pretty clear that Project Greenlight wanted to make money with this picture and for a casting director that means getting names. John Gulager said that she had trouble finding work after Feast (to his regret), which I find baffling and unfair. You'd think that people in the film industry would understand that a reality TV show thrives on conflict and doesn't show the whole story for the sake of the show. I still agree with her and in the end he admitted that the casting compromises worked out for the best. From watching the show, I thought he was unworthy of his opportunity as winner of the Project Greenlight contest. Although he is obviously a good cinematographer I felt he should leave directing to someone else. Now that I've seen him in person I 'm glad that he may be able to make another movie. So although it may seem like the Q&A was enlightening these were the few worthwhile morsels. Q&A still sucks and will always suck. People either know too little to ask a question or think they know too much. You can imagine that 90% of the questions were asinine.

If you're a fan of horror go see a screening or wait for the DVD. Or better yet, go bug Dimension Films and tell them you want to see this movie in theaters. That's how it all works these days, I guess.

Nobody likes to get his or her picture taken. Seriously, I'm surprised anyone puts up with this zoo exhibit setup. And yes, I did feel bad flashing a bulb in their face as they were talking. Especially since the pictures came out terribly. Not really sure why I thought that would work.

-Posted to The Great Hoboes of New York on February 12, 2006